Final Destination 5 (2011)

1st View
Format: Blu-ray
Venue: Rivendell

Largely more of the same from this tired, stale formula. I will say the effects look much better than they did in the fourth installment, but the dialogue and white-washed characters are no less obnoxious. The only thing that saves this entry from being entirely forgettable is its clever ending.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Bridesmaids (2011)

1st View
Format: Awards Screener
Venue: Rivendell

I was very excited to see this movie. I like Kristen Wiig quite a bit and the idea of a crass all-female comedy sounded fresh and intriguing. Instead, I quickly became bored with the obnoxious reliance on female cattiness and the lazily slapped-together love story between Wiig and Chris O'Dowd; an actor I love on the British series The IT Crowd. The few chuckles the film earned, mostly thanks to Melissa McCarthy, weren't enough to keep me engaged. 


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

The Descendants (2011)

1st View
Format: Awards Screener
Venue: Rivendell

I did not care for this awards-buzzy movie. The secondary storyline is wholly uninteresting and is resolved in a way that is completely unearned and never reconciles with the main, far more intriguing, story. All in all, I found it flat and stale...like an old soda left out overnight.


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows (2011)

1st View
Venue: Galaxy Highland (Press Screening)

Not as good as the first, though it had the potential to surpass it. Jared Harris' Moriarty is outstanding and the back-and-forth between he and Downey Jr is perfect. Unfortuantely, this bloated sequel can't decide if its an action romp or an old school Sherlock story.


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989)

Revisit
Format: DVD
Venue: Rivendell

Here again, a terrible sequel. But again, one I enjoy despite its every attempt to fail. Entertaining in the basest way.


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (1988)

Revisit
Format: DVD
Venue: Rivendell

The first appearance of Kane Hodder as Jason. Still better than it gets credit for, but not one I enjoy all that much.


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (1986)

Revisit
Format: DVD
Venue: Rivendell

I know this one is bad, I know that. And yet I can't help but enjoy it. I get a kick out of the fact that people show up to die independent of the plot. Plus, it is the birth of zombie Jason!


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

A Return to Salem's Lot (1987)

1st View
Format: Warner Archive DVD
Venue: Rivendell

I sure have been watching a bunch of Warner Archive horror films lately. I should probably write an article about it or something. Oh wait, that's exactly what I did for Movies.com. Read it and feel free to tell me what you think. 

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Killer Party (1986)

1st View
Format: Warner Archive DVD
Venue: Rivendell

Incredibly silly, but some legitimate quality peeks through the mire of goofballitude. Overall, passably entertaining despite itself. Ended up making the Junkfood Cinema grade for this month's Junkfood Horror. Read if you dare!

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Time Walker (1982)

1st View
Format: DVD
Venue: LEOG Lair

Silly, but overall entertaining. Starring not one, but two cast members of John Carpenter's Assault on Precinct 13.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

Revisit
Format: Blu-ray
Venue: Rivendell

Like this less and less with each revisit.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

FANTASTIC FEST 2011: The Day (2011)

1st View
Country: USA
Venue: Alamo South Lamar

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

FANTASTIC FEST 2011: Sennentuntschi (2010)

1st View
Country: Switzerland

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

51 (2011)

1st View
Format: DVD
Venue: LEOG Lair

Dumb as a box of rocks, but not entirely unwatchable.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Spies Like Us (1985)

Revisit
Format: HD-DVD
Venue: Rivendell

Gave it another shot, still don't love it. It's got some great bits, but the script deflates after they get to the snowy parts of Russia.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Kill Or Be Killed (1980)

1st View
Format: ?
Venue: Captain Murphy's Movie Submarine (24hr Movie Marathon)

In the Martial Arts category. Weird movie.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Swamp Thing (1982)

Revisit
Format: DVD
Venue: Rivendell (Universal Monstrosities)

In the Creature from the Black Lagoon category. Silly fun.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Frankenstein Unbound (1990)

1st View
Format: Netflix WI
Venue: Rivendell (Universal Monstrosities)

So I had this idea for a themed movie marathon. It would be a celebration of all the various ways Hollywood has bastardized the original lineup of Universal Monsters over the last seven decades. Each monster would receive two selections and the audience (ie my buddies brave enough to show up for this) would vote on and select which one we watch. This was the Frankenstein selection. Starring Raul Julia and John Hurt and directed by the great Roger Corman. Oh boy.


Rating: 5/10 Atkins

Captain America (1990)

Revisit
Format: "DVD"
Venue: Rivendell

Watching the original crappy version of this film after seeing Pyun's abysmal director's cut was like a giant cinematic hug. Sure, it's still awful, but it looks like a auteur piece of genius by comparison. The enjoyable badness of this film, coupled with the impending release of Marvel's blockbuster reboot of the Cap'n, made it the perfect subject for this week's Junkfood Cinema. Don't shield your eyes.

Rating: 5/10 Atkins

The Nesting (1981)

1st View
Format: Blu-ray
Venue: Rivendell

Rating: 5/10 Atkins